Foxfeather of ThunderClan

[♪♫~яανєηѕ~♫♪]

Character Name:
Foxfeather
Character Age:
17 Moons
Gender:
Female
Alliance:
ThunderClan
Rank:
Warrior
Appearance (6 or more sentences):

Foxfeather is a thick furred Bengal cat with white paws. Her white paws are all the same, and go up to the knee joint on her longer legs. Her left eye is a deep blend of teal and hunter green, whilst her right eye is a silvery colour with tones of a warm amber-red mix. Her eyes stand out from most of the other cats in the clan, along with her larger ears, that have a Turkish Angora look to them. The young warrior has a few black whiskers on her cheeks, and a small scar running down the right side of her face. She is quite a muscular cat, with sharp teeth and claws.

Personality (6 or more sentences--these sentences form their own section and do NOT count towards the 4 groups below. Those are additional requirements):

Foxfeather is a happy-go-Lucky she-cat despite her horrific past. She is the sort who likes to be everyone’s friend, kind and quite caring. She is very protective of her clan and her close friends and will do anything her leader tells her to, but only when she thinks it’s correct. She has a mean side, however. Because of her past, she is quite closed off to others until she knows them the best she can. If she does not feel like she can trust a cat, she will try her best to refrain from interacting in any way possible. Foxfeather can be quite sensitive, but only if another being talks her down like filth. That’s when she gets nasty; she’ll start to snap and hiss, annoyed that another warrior or even an apprentice thinks they are superior over her. She is the leader of the pack, and won’t stand to be the follower. She is always the leader or the loner of her friends in ThunderClan.

---Likes (at least 3):
Peace with other cats, Busy places. (e.g.: gatherings), Hunting alone
--- Dislikes (at least 3):
Having free time, Talking about kit hood, Deaths.
---Strengths (No MORE than 5):
Hunting, Stalking, Climbing
---Weaknesses (At least 3):
Greenleaf, Droughts, Competitiveness 

History (8 or more sentences):

Foxfeather was once a loner before she joined ThunderClan. At four moons old, a ShadowClan patrol attacked them by the Thunder Path, killing her entire family, her Mother, Father, Sister and Brother. Fleeing to the forest, she lived amongst the canopy of leaves until she was found a few moons later. Found by a ThunderClan patrol, she was taken to the camp where she was made an apprentice of the clan; she was welcomed with open paws, already self-taught in the basics of hunting and fighting. Now, living among cats of the clan, she is proud and happy, not a selfish rouge whom hated all cats. Glad to be accepted, Foxfeather learnt the warrior code, the ways of a warrior and what it was like to be loyal. As she grew, and learnt, the young cat began to show the strong skills she had as a hunter, her small nose being able to detect something faint, a great help in leaf-bare.  Later she became a warrior; the former loner gained her warrior name of ‘Foxfeather. Happier than ever as she felt as if she was a true member of  the Clan rather than just an outsider, the young warrior put her heart and soul into protecting her clan. Foxfeather is now a proud, loyal and brave warrior of the forest dwelling Clan, ThunderClan.

Roleplay Sample (Required for first advanced bio):

Sleepy eyes blinked open as the warrior awoke, yawning and sighing. Getting up was not on Foxfeather’s good list, nor was going to sleep, actually. It was a waste of time in her opinion. Grumbling, she stretched quickly, then padded outside into the fine rain of the dawn.

The former loner padded out of camp, flicking her tail in greeting to the cat guarding the camp. Slipping into the forest, Foxfeather pricked her ears up, and raised her nose to see if she could hear or smell anything. She had always loved hunting at dawn, watching the sun rise as she stalked a mouse. However, it did not seem that that would happen today, as there was no evidence of pray, or the rain letting up. In fact, the fine mist was becoming fat drops, and falling more frequently.  She hissed in annoyance, and made her way back to camp before the rain started. Like that was going to happen.

Comments (optional):

[Thunderrstorm Inactive]

(click to show/hide)

Character Name:
Foxfeather
Character Age:
17 Moons
Gender:
Female
Alliance:
ThunderClan
Rank:
Warrior
Appearance (6 or more sentences):

Foxfeather is a thick furred Bengal cat with white paws. Her white paws are all the same, and go up to the knee joint on her longer legs. Her left eye is a deep blend of teal and hunter green, whilst her right eye is a silvery colour with tones of a warm amber-red mix. Her eyes stand out from most of the other cats in the clan, along with her larger ears, that have a Turkish Angora look to them. The young warrior has a few black whiskers on her cheeks, and a small scar running down the right side of her face. She is quite a muscular cat, with sharp teeth and claws.

Personality (6 or more sentences--these sentences form their own section and do NOT count towards the 4 groups below. Those are additional requirements):

Foxfeather is a happy-go-Lucky she-cat despite her horrific past. She is the sort who likes to be everyone’s friend, kind and quite caring. She is very protective of her clan and her close friends and will do anything her leader tells her to, but only when she thinks it’s correct. She has a mean side, however. Because of her past, she is quite closed off to others until she knows them the best she can. If she does not feel like she can trust a cat, she will try her best to refrain from interacting in any way possible. Foxfeather can be quite sensitive, but only if another being talks her down like filth. That’s when she gets nasty; she’ll start to snap and hiss, annoyed that another warrior or even apprentice thinks they are superior over her. She is the leader of the pack, and won’t stand to be the follower. She is always the leader or the loner of her friends in ThunderClan.

---Likes (at least 3):
Peace with other cats, Busy places. (e.g.: gatherings), Hunting alone
--- Dislikes (at least 3):
Having free time, Talking about kit hood, Deaths.
---Strengths (No MORE than 5):
Hunting, Stalking, Climbing
---Weaknesses (At least 3):
Greenleaf, Droughts, Competitiveness 

History (8 or more sentences):

Foxfeather used to be a loner before joining ThunderClan. When she was 4 moons old, a ShadowClan patrol attacked them by the Thunder Path, killing her Mother, Father, Sister and Brother. She fled into the forest, and lived in the trees until she was found moons later. She has always lived in the ThunderClan territory, always in the trees. Now, Foxfeather loves the life with other cats, unlike her time alone in the forest when she despised all groups of cats. She was found at the age of seven moons old, and already experienced in hunting and fighting. She was self-taught in the arts of hunting and fighting, and is a valuable addition to the clan; Foxfeather was welcomed into the clan with open paws, and now is a true warrior of ThunderClan.

Roleplay Sample (Required for first advanced bio):

The muffled sounds of paw steps on leaf mould echoed in the forest, as the moonlight shone down through the canopy of lush green leaves. The wash of silver made the normally alive forest seem mystical, right out of a fairy tale.

A young cat padded into the clearing, her spotted ginger fur a light sandy shade now exposed to the waning moon. Her black nose rose, sentencing a warm body nearby. A body of a small mouse. Smiling at her luck, the warrior slipped into the hunting crouch almost silently, her soft paws barely making a noise on the leafy floor. Soon coming upon her victim, the hunter pounced, killing the mouse quickly. Lifting her head, she moved on, looking for her next pray.


Comments (optional):

Hi there, nice grammer (I wish I had such grammer talk like you. )
Very good but here's what you need.

-You have a few grammer mistakes (spacing, words, etc..)
-Can you add a sentence to your History?
-There is a few short choppy sentences, can you lengthen them?

[♪♫~яανєηѕ~♫♪]

I hope this is better. >w>

Bump

[Viperfang -- GONE]

(click to show/hide)

Character Name:
Foxfeather
Character Age:
17 Moons
Gender:
Female
Alliance:
ThunderClan
Rank:
Warrior
Appearance (6 or more sentences):

Foxfeather is a thick furred Bengal cat with white paws. Her white paws are all the same, and go up to the knee joint on her longer legs. Her left eye is a deep blend of teal and hunter green, whilst her right eye is a silvery colour with tones of a warm amber-red mix. Her eyes stand out from most of the other cats in the clan, along with her larger ears, that have a Turkish Angora look to them. The young warrior has a few black whiskers on her cheeks, and a small scar running down the right side of her face. She is quite a muscular cat, with sharp teeth and claws.

Personality (6 or more sentences--these sentences form their own section and do NOT count towards the 4 groups below. Those are additional requirements):

Foxfeather is a happy-go-Lucky she-cat despite her horrific past. She is the sort who likes to be everyone’s friend, kind and quite caring. She is very protective of her clan and her close friends and will do anything her leader tells her to, but only when she thinks it’s correct. She has a mean side, however. Because of her past, she is quite closed off to others until she knows them the best she can. If she does not feel like she can trust a cat, she will try her best to refrain from interacting in any way possible. Foxfeather can be quite sensitive, but only if another being talks her down like filth. That’s when she gets nasty; she’ll start to snap and hiss, annoyed that another warrior or even an apprentice thinks they are superior over her. She is the leader of the pack, and won’t stand to be the follower. She is always the leader or the loner of her friends in ThunderClan.

---Likes (at least 3):
Peace with other cats, Busy places. (e.g.: gatherings), Hunting alone
--- Dislikes (at least 3):
Having free time, Talking about kit hood, Deaths.
---Strengths (No MORE than 5):
Hunting, Stalking, Climbing
---Weaknesses (At least 3):
Greenleaf, Droughts, Competitiveness 

History (8 or more sentences):

Foxfeather was once a loner before she joined ThunderClan. At four moons old, a ShadowClan patrol attacked them by the Thunder Path, killing her entire family, her Mother, Father, Sister and Brother. Fleeing to the forest, she lived amongst the canopy of leaves until she was found a few moons later. Found by a ThunderClan patrol, she was taken to the camp where she was made an apprentice of the clan; she was welcomed with open paws, already self-taught in the basics of hunting and fighting. Now, living among cats of the clan, she is proud and happy, not a selfish rouge whom hated all cats. Glad to be accepted, Foxfeather learnt the warrior code, the ways of a warrior and what it was like to be loyal. As she grew, and learnt, the young cat began to show the strong skills she had as a hunter, her small nose being able to detect something faint, a great help in leaf-bare.  Later she became a warrior; the former loner gained her warrior name of ‘Foxfeather. Happier than ever as she felt as if she was a true member of  the Clan rather than just an outsider, the young warrior put her heart and soul into protecting her clan. Foxfeather is now a proud, loyal and brave warrior of the forest dwelling Clan, ThunderClan.

Roleplay Sample (Required for first advanced bio):

The muffled sounds of paw steps on leaf mould echoed in the forest, as the moonlight shone down through the canopy of lush green leaves. The wash of silver made the normally alive forest seem mystical, right out of a fairy tale.

A young cat padded into the clearing, her spotted ginger fur a light sandy shade now exposed to the waning moon. Her black nose rose, sentencing a warm body nearby. A body of a small mouse. Smiling at her luck, the warrior slipped into the hunting crouch almost silently, her soft paws barely making a noise on the leafy floor. Soon coming upon her victim, the hunter pounced, killing the mouse quickly. Lifting her head, she moved on, looking for her next pray.


Comments (optional):

You're doing so well!

You have a few grammar errors in your RP Sample, as well as a few choppy sentences in your appearance. One thing that I found helps me is using words other than 'her', 'she', and the cat's name at the beginning of sentences. Please edit and bump!

This is a beautiful bio!

[♪♫~яανєηѕ~♫♪]

Better?

Bump.

[Thunderrstorm Inactive]

(click to show/hide)

Character Name:
Foxfeather
Character Age:
17 Moons
Gender:
Female
Alliance:
ThunderClan
Rank:
Warrior
Appearance (6 or more sentences):

Foxfeather is a thick furred Bengal cat with white paws. Her white paws are all the same, and go up to the knee joint on her longer legs. Her left eye is a deep blend of teal and hunter green, whilst her right eye is a silvery colour with tones of a warm amber-red mix. Her eyes stand out from most of the other cats in the clan, along with her larger ears, that have a Turkish Angora look to them. The young warrior has a few black whiskers on her cheeks, and a small scar running down the right side of her face. She is quite a muscular cat, with sharp teeth and claws.

Personality (6 or more sentences--these sentences form their own section and do NOT count towards the 4 groups below. Those are additional requirements):

Foxfeather is a happy-go-Lucky she-cat despite her horrific past. She is the sort who likes to be everyone’s friend, kind and quite caring. She is very protective of her clan and her close friends and will do anything her leader tells her to, but only when she thinks it’s correct. She has a mean side, however. Because of her past, she is quite closed off to others until she knows them the best she can. If she does not feel like she can trust a cat, she will try her best to refrain from interacting in any way possible. Foxfeather can be quite sensitive, but only if another being talks her down like filth. That’s when she gets nasty; she’ll start to snap and hiss, annoyed that another warrior or even an apprentice thinks they are superior over her. She is the leader of the pack, and won’t stand to be the follower. She is always the leader or the loner of her friends in ThunderClan.

---Likes (at least 3):
Peace with other cats, Busy places. (e.g.: gatherings), Hunting alone
--- Dislikes (at least 3):
Having free time, Talking about kit hood, Deaths.
---Strengths (No MORE than 5):
Hunting, Stalking, Climbing
---Weaknesses (At least 3):
Greenleaf, Droughts, Competitiveness 

History (8 or more sentences):

Foxfeather was once a loner before she joined ThunderClan. At four moons old, a ShadowClan patrol attacked them by the Thunder Path, killing her entire family, her Mother, Father, Sister and Brother. Fleeing to the forest, she lived amongst the canopy of leaves until she was found a few moons later. Found by a ThunderClan patrol, she was taken to the camp where she was made an apprentice of the clan; she was welcomed with open paws, already self-taught in the basics of hunting and fighting. Now, living among cats of the clan, she is proud and happy, not a selfish rouge whom hated all cats. Glad to be accepted, Foxfeather learnt the warrior code, the ways of a warrior and what it was like to be loyal. As she grew, and learnt, the young cat began to show the strong skills she had as a hunter, her small nose being able to detect something faint, a great help in leaf-bare.  Later she became a warrior; the former loner gained her warrior name of ‘Foxfeather. Happier than ever as she felt as if she was a true member of  the Clan rather than just an outsider, the young warrior put her heart and soul into protecting her clan. Foxfeather is now a proud, loyal and brave warrior of the forest dwelling Clan, ThunderClan.

Roleplay Sample (Required for first advanced bio):

The muffled sounds of paw steps on leaf mould echoed in the forest, as the moonlight shone down through the lush canopy of rich green leaves. The wash of moonlight silver made the normally alive forest seem mystical, right out of a fairy tale.

A young cat padded into the clearing, her spotted ginger fur a light sandy shade now exposed to the waning moon. Her black nose rose, sensing a warm body nearby.  A body that of a small mouse. Smiling at her luck, the warrior slipped into the hunting crouch almost silently, her soft paws barely making a noise on the leafy floor. Soon coming upon her victim, the hunter pounced, killing the mouse quickly. Raising her head, she moved on, looking for her next pray.


Comments (optional):

Wow, very good, here's whatcha need.

-Your RP sample could be a little fixed up, it looks good though.

Your almost done, nice job.

[♪♫~яανєηѕ~♫♪]

There~

Bump.

[Thunderrstorm Inactive]

[/quote]

Character Name:
Foxfeather
Character Age:
17 Moons
Gender:
Female
Alliance:
ThunderClan
Rank:
Warrior
Appearance (6 or more sentences):

Foxfeather is a thick furred Bengal cat with white paws. Her white paws are all the same, and go up to the knee joint on her longer legs. Her left eye is a deep blend of teal and hunter green, whilst her right eye is a silvery colour with tones of a warm amber-red mix. Her eyes stand out from most of the other cats in the clan, along with her larger ears, that have a Turkish Angora look to them. The young warrior has a few black whiskers on her cheeks, and a small scar running down the right side of her face. She is quite a muscular cat, with sharp teeth and claws.

Personality (6 or more sentences--these sentences form their own section and do NOT count towards the 4 groups below. Those are additional requirements):

Foxfeather is a happy-go-Lucky she-cat despite her horrific past. She is the sort who likes to be everyone’s friend, kind and quite caring. She is very protective of her clan and her close friends and will do anything her leader tells her to, but only when she thinks it’s correct. She has a mean side, however. Because of her past, she is quite closed off to others until she knows them the best she can. If she does not feel like she can trust a cat, she will try her best to refrain from interacting in any way possible. Foxfeather can be quite sensitive, but only if another being talks her down like filth. That’s when she gets nasty; she’ll start to snap and hiss, annoyed that another warrior or even an apprentice thinks they are superior over her. She is the leader of the pack, and won’t stand to be the follower. She is always the leader or the loner of her friends in ThunderClan.

---Likes (at least 3):
Peace with other cats, Busy places. (e.g.: gatherings), Hunting alone
--- Dislikes (at least 3):
Having free time, Talking about kit hood, Deaths.
---Strengths (No MORE than 5):
Hunting, Stalking, Climbing
---Weaknesses (At least 3):
Greenleaf, Droughts, Competitiveness 

History (8 or more sentences):

Foxfeather was once a loner before she joined ThunderClan. At four moons old, a ShadowClan patrol attacked them by the Thunder Path, killing her entire family, her Mother, Father, Sister and Brother. Fleeing to the forest, she lived amongst the canopy of leaves until she was found a few moons later. Found by a ThunderClan patrol, she was taken to the camp where she was made an apprentice of the clan; she was welcomed with open paws, already self-taught in the basics of hunting and fighting. Now, living among cats of the clan, she is proud and happy, not a selfish rouge whom hated all cats. Glad to be accepted, Foxfeather learnt the warrior code, the ways of a warrior and what it was like to be loyal. As she grew, and learnt, the young cat began to show the strong skills she had as a hunter, her small nose being able to detect something faint, a great help in leaf-bare.  Later she became a warrior; the former loner gained her warrior name of ‘Foxfeather. Happier than ever as she felt as if she was a true member of  the Clan rather than just an outsider, the young warrior put her heart and soul into protecting her clan. Foxfeather is now a proud, loyal and brave warrior of the forest dwelling Clan, ThunderClan.

Roleplay Sample (Required for first advanced bio):

Sleepy eyes blinked open as the warrior awoke, yawning and sighing. Getting up was not on Foxfeather’s good list, nor was going to sleep, actually. It was a waste of time in her opinion. Grumbling, she stretched quickly, then padded outside into the fine rain of the dawn.

The former loner padded out of camp, flicking her tail in greeting to the cat guarding the camp. Slipping into the forest, Foxfeather pricked her ears up, and raised her nose to see if she could hear or smell anything. She had always loved hunting at dawn, watching the sun rise as she stalked a mouse. However, it did not seem that that would happen today, as there was no evidence of pray, or the rain letting up. In fact, the fine mist was becoming fat drops, and falling more frequently.  She hissed in annoyance, and made her way back to camp before the rain started. Like that was going to happen.

Comments (optional):

Great Approved

[♪♫~яανєηѕ~♫♪]

Oh yeah!
Thanks!   

[Thunderrstorm Inactive]

Your welcome, have fun in the advanced boards. You did very well, congrats.